Eminem - Can I Bitch Uncle Marshall! Will you tell us a bedtime story? Here we go... Now once upon a time not long ago There was a little rapper about to blow But his album came and it was not good I think it went lead or double copper wood So the silly little fans they were mislead By a nerdy internet computer hip-hop head "Me and you, 'Clef, we're gonna make some cash Grab the silver paint and let's paint my ass" Hey mister, would ya care to bare witness to The ass-whippin' I'm about to administer To this ass-kissin' little vaginal blister Stanabis, little Marshall Mathers' sister And in this corner, we have the mister Not havin' it, it's the mad sinister Dr. Evil with his bag of tricks for this little antagonist faggot dick-suckin' Ex-LL Cool J fan from Windsor I'm 'bout to murder little Kenny fag Keniff-sta You bastard I ain't wanna have to diss ya Canabis, where the fuck you at? I miss ya! Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch Where for art thou Can-i-bitch? Please tell me what happened with That style that you were rappin' with Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch Are you from Los Angeles New York or just a janitor From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch Now at first I ain't really understand the shit Picture me for a second and imagine it Chillin' in the Bat-Mansion and relaxin' When all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners It's Can-i-bitch on some "Stan Lives" shit It creeped me out at first. Man this is sick For me, being just a sick, this conflict Gets my dick harder than arithmetic And I know how you jealous ones envy I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me The first two letters you were tellin' me shit Like you respect me, like any other regular MC The third letter you ask how come I ain't return None of the messages at Shady Records you left me The fourth letter: "Slim, you really startin' to upset me!" The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me The sixth letter there's a bomb threat in our building This crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill me! So I went back and read the first few letters that said Some shit about a message you left Oh shit, that's not an "E" that's an "A" This dude wants to leave me a "massage," he's gay!! Right away I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre We got a bogey! (Marshall I'm on the way) Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch Where for art thou Can-i-bitch? Please tell me what happened with That style that you were rappin' with Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch Are you from Los Angeles New York or just a janitor From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch So in two seconds flat Dre's at my crib The funny thing is we both know where this kid lives And neither one of us have Canadian citizenship Shit. Oh Dre, wait a mintue that's it All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo boost We can fly over the border "Let's go" [WOOSH!] So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed [BOOSH!] (What was that? Oh) Jermaine Dupri Fuck It, keep goin' no time to waste Wait, backup hit him one more time in case Okay .. fuck now he's draggin' under the car Oh well, only 30 more thousand miles Meanwhile me and Dre are tryin' to conversate Just tryin' to find a reason for the constant hate And tryin' to figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propaine' "He couldn't have fell off that hard" Ain't no way "What happened to the way you was rappin' when you was scandalous That Canibus turned into a television evangelist" Plus he raps with his regular voice [BOOSH! BOOSH!] [BOOSH! BOOSH!] (What was that?) Pet Shop Boys So we pull up to the bridge where he last was spotted His corpse was still movin' but his ass was rotted He kinda smelled a little like Courtney Love I figure if I stick him with a fork he's done So I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin', Christ He won't die, this guy's like a battered wife He's like Kim, he keeps comin' back for more But he won't fight back I cracked his jaw Hold up, 'Bis quit foldin' up! Punch me in the chest! Make my shoulders touch! Do somethin'! At least one punchline C'mon till the meter reads 9-9-9- ty-nine percent of my fans are blonde 'Bis c'mon answer me man respond! Tell me 'bout the sun rain moon and stars Intergalatical metaphors from Mars! Raw to the floor, raw like Reservoir Dogs Bite another line from Redman's song! Suddenly the stub from a dead man's arm From a midget reaches out from under the car It's JD, this motherfucker won't die neither Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of ether We stomped the bitch and then stopmed the bitch again (Compton!) Detroit bitch! Talk some shit again! Stomp him! (switch feet) Stomp him! (switch again!) Dre alright he's dead dog, quit kickin him! I think Stanabis jumped off the bridge again (Damn) He disappeared yo he's gone he did it again Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch Where for art thou Can-i-bitch? Please tell me what happened with That style that you were rappin' with Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch Are you from Los Angeles New York or just a janitor From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch END
